Today was

...absolutely beautiful! It was another pretty low key day for me, but it was sooo stinkin beautiful I could hardly stand it. I drove my sis out to the country to her friend's house and the drive was just so wonderful, I loved looking at the peeks of the mountains and the crystal clear blue sky. I was so taken away with God's beauty that I got into an awesome conversation with him on my drive home. After I dropped her off I was just talkin out loud to him thanking him for being such a brilliant Creator and for caring about me enough to give me a perfect day.
I'm really looking forward to the rest of this week because I get to babysit!!! I'm feeling much better from yesterday, I'm not sure what was up with that sickness. But its all good now and I'm really pumped to hang out with baby Deakan, he's such a little stud. Also I get to hang out with the mentor of a lifetime - my friend Karen Morrison, on Wednesday. I'm really excited.
I was hoping to get out to take some awesome photos today of the scenery, but I didn't get the chance (plus it was freezing!), but I wanted to write a blog anyway to remind me later that God turns my sadness into joy in the most amazing ways. I love him so much!!
Peace!

Lazy day

Today has been kind of rough. Maybe it's because I don't get sick often, and I cannot remember the last time I had the flu. But I woke up feeling CRAPPY and weak, but I went to church anyway to set up and serve at the coffee cart - stayed at church from 8am to 2 pm like most weeks then I absolutely had to come home. There were times I thought my legs were going to give out while I was standing behind the coffee cart. I hate feeling like this! Plus I don't really know where it came from. Also, I was super excited for this evening at 7, because I was going to go to a YWAM Denver band's (Trillium) concert. They're playing in Salem one night then continuing their tour. Its sad that I had to miss it but I could hardly get out of bed. It's trippy waking up at 8 pm and trying to start my day, lol.
Oh well, enough complaining. I just had to though, but now I am done. Time to go snuggle with mommy :-) Love it.

so many thoughts

I feel like I should write a blog...but it's kinda hard to know what to write about because I've got lots of things rollin around in my head. I'll start with today - it was a good day! I got to hang out with Chris and baby Marshall which was sweeeet, I began teaching piano lessons again to my student Katelyn for the short time I'm home, and I went to a movie with my best friend's boyfriend! haha that sounds weird but we're good friends - he's perfect for Tara!

Lately I've been in kind of a slump. It's typical for post-YWAM experiences to become depressed almost once you get home. I think a big reason for that is that I am not surrounded by a community of believers 24/7 who challenge and encourage me in my walk. I spend most of the day with my mom (don't get me wrong it's awesome spending time with her!) but I don't have that accountability or people who realllly care for what my heart is going through. It's tricky to get to that point with people, but I just really miss my YWAM roomies. It's all good though, God is challenging me to be in love with him whether or not I am in that community - that's the biggest lesson for me!

Part of the being home blues is that I feel cooped up. Lately I've been dying to go out somewhere and see...something...naturey....ANYTHING! Fortunately I am so blessed with a dad who loves outdoor adventures so him and I are planning a hike together at Mary's Peek sometime while I'm home. That'll be awesome and beautiful. I would love to go on a roadtrip but everyone else has a life, lol.

Another big thing on my mind lately is the idea of raising support to go back into missions in Kona. I'm sure once I get started there will be people interested, but I'm starting to freak out thinking that no one will want to help me. However, I know it's the Lord's will that I be in leadership in Kona and he will provide for me the finances - BUT I still have to do my part. That means I need to get started soon. I have no idea if anyone reads this blog, but if you do, could you please pray for me? That I would get some good support raising ideas that will help prep a path for my ministry. That would be HUGE for me! And if anyone who reads this needs a prayer partner, let me know and I would love to pray for you too!

Seriously there's like a thousand more things I could write about right now. But it's not necessary. I just wanted to update my 'readers' on whats goin down. Thanks for reading and I hope all are doing awesome!! Keep in touch, I could use the communication. Ok well peace and good night.

My BFF's

I am so thankful to the Lord for my best friends!!!
Today I was reminded of how awesome Tara, my best friend of 13 years, is! I hung out with her beloved, Grae, and we had a nice lil chat about how amazing that woman is! It's not the type of thing I tend to do to stop and reflect on how blessed I am with my friends. Tara is so unique - everyone who knows her adores her. She has blessed so many people with just the person God made her to be, including me. I think about all we've been through over the years and how much her friendship has gotten me through hard stuff. She is so beautiful inside and out. Her heart to follow God's call is so open and uncompromised. She's totally willing to drop everything and go travel the world and share the gospel through photography, as she's doing right now. She is so not concerned with what people think about her which is SO refreshing and inspiring to me. I could go on and on but I just wanted to recognize that I am blessed with Tara!!!

I have a second best friend..Amy Spivey. We've been buds since we were in the womb. She's someone else who has impacted my life greatly by her friendship. She always knows when I'm holding info back from her and she always gets to the core of what I'm going through. The other day she asked me such a refreshing questions "how's your walk with Jesus?" No one asks that these days and it was so awesome to actually share with her what's going on in my heart right now and how desprately I am giving everything to Him. She cares too. She listens to answers to the questions she asks. I adore her soooo much and love that she is in my life - it wouldn't be the same without her!! Thank you God for these women!!

Nothin like a glass of water!

First of all...I miss Mel's workout class!!! I have not been working out like I thought I was going to when I came home... I've gone to the Y to walk and jog on the treadmill but I am definitely losing my tone-ness. So that's sad..but I think I'm maintaining / losing weight which is always good too. ANYWAYS I just did some ab / arm / leg work here at home and the best thing in the world was a huge glass of wata!! Yum I want more. Ok well that's all for now I guess...peace!

P.S. that was such a boring blog!

Inspired once again

I've been inspired once again! Today has been really good, I've spent some quality time with my mom shopping, working out and cooking healthy. I love healthy food. Actually I just wrote down some recipes for scones and I'm going to be baking tonight :-) The healthy part is that I bought whole wheat unbleached flour to use rather than white. It should be pretty good.
Ok, back to my inspiration. I sat down and played the piano today, just a few minutes ago actually. I was about to go back to my room to have some quiet time with Jesus, but as I started playing I remembered how that used to be part of my special time with the Lord. It's been MONTHS since I've tickled the ivories and it felt so good. Playing the piano, for me, releases all anger or tension I have inside and it gives me such freedom. It's such an awesome time with me and Jesus. Now, by no means am I good. I took lessons for many years and even teach piano, but I really am not good at all. haha I continually play the same pieces I played in highschool, because I haven't gone out to buy anything new. I think I'll be making a trip to Weather's music real soon to pick out something beautiful to worship Jesus with. I'm very excited!
Well that's it for now...I'm off to help mom with dinner. :-)

Break my heart for what breaks Yours

This week I've experienced much heartache. Much more than I care to explain to anybody I know except my Creator. During worship yesterday morning we sang a song with a line that says "Break my heart for what breaks Yours" and I cried out to God that this was truly my prayer - and - well, he granted me that. Right after the service I saw something that completely broke my heart which probably wouldn't have if I had never asked for His heart. There's a woman at my church who her and her husband have been going there the last 8-9 years. They seemed to be a very sweet couple and very to themselves. I'm not sure how many friends they had as a couple, but they had each other. She is probably early thirties now and her and her husband had a baby boy last year. A few months after their son was born, her husband had a heart attack...in his mid-thirties! Now this sweet woman is stuck alone raising their baby boy. I don't know her well at all, but yesterday after the service as I was cleaning up the coffee cart I saw her - alone - walking with her baby boy's hand in hers, as he was learning to walk. I saw that and started bawling. I am bawling right now as I remember her. Ever since then she has been a huge prayer on my heart. Seriously this life can be so messed up. Things happen that shouldn't, that God never originally designed and honestly I hate that. I hate that someone has to be alone raising her baby and her husband isn't around to see their sweet little boy learning to walk. I haven't experienced much death at all in my family so I have no idea what it feels like. But with the people I know who have, my heart is so broken for them. I believe it breaks God's heart that anyone has to experience the loss of a loved one. I don't know, I just feel very devastated for her, my heart seriously feels like it has been torn in two. I'm so sorry that something like that had to happen to her.

I was just journalling - something I haven't done in a couple of weeks, and I was recapping the major things in my life that had happened since the last time I had journaled. There are ups and downs, as there are in everyone's lives. But it seems to me that I've seen a lot of downs this week which calls for some much needed quiet time with my God. I am so thankful that only He can heal my heart and that he feels my hurts. I am so thankful that his heart breaks when ours does. But I am also so thankful that He can alone restore each of our lives. That is so amazing to me. While I'm in the midst of heartache I know that my Creator is bigger, and that alone gives me something to live for.

The verse that came to my mind as I was journalling and praying about all the heartache in my life right now, was Isaiah 50:8-9 which was the school verse for my School of Biblical Studies. It gives me such peace, and it says, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways." declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." I am so glad that although life sucks sometimes, my God has a plan that is higher and bigger than what we can see with our earthly eyes. Wow, I need the Lord in my life so much in this year than I can even explain.