All Other Ground is Sinking Sand

Wowzers I have been a busy MOH. (Maid of Honor, lol). My time has been consumed by babysitting and wedding / shower planning. I must admit, though, I LOVE the busyness. I do love being on my toes and having a semi-routine. And Praise the LORD that semi-routine will soon turn into a real routine, I start my NEW NANNYING JOB on the 15th. That is such a blessing, I couldn't be more thankful. It's great pay and for a precious newborn girl. I cannot wait to get started. We had our 'practice run' last night while her parents were out to dinner and we had a great time, she even gave me some half smiles! :-)

Ok so I just had a very intense worship session in my bedroom with Jesus. My eyes are all bawled out, I'll say that much. But when I am surrounded by His presence, it's hard to do much else. I have to share about an intense revelation He gave me on Sunday during worship at church. We were singing the old hymn "On Christ the Solid Rock I Stand" and this song had never blown me away like this before. As we were singing the part " all other ground is sinking sand " I was asking God in that very moment what my "sinking sand" is. Before I could even ask the entire question, He answered me! So quick! "Your emotions." Ok, WHOA, God. I almost broke down right then and there - I DO NOT WANT TO BASE MY LIFE OFF MY EMOTIONS!! I was overwhelmed with the truth of this profound idea. He is showing me to base the way I love, the decision I make, the thoughts I think, the words I speak on the truth of who HE is. To live a life as a woman after His own heart, I can no longer base those things off the way I FEEL. I realize this is especially true being a woman, but I don't care about emotions. To be blunt, I don't want to care about the way I 'feel' when it is not based on truth. Yes, emotions are a good thing and if we were all emotionless (like men, jk) this world would be a very interesting place. But I think as a believer I (we) have control over such things, by the power of the Holy Spirit. He enables us to live through truth in a world that lives off lies or fleeting emotions.

This topic has been something that has gotten to me a lot lately. I am becoming quite passionate about it. This is kind of a silly way to end, but I don't even know where else to go with my thoughts. Plus I am tired. If you have any thoughts please, share them!!

Being wrecked.

Wow I am such a good blogger! :-) It's funny that I get frustrated when others don't update their blogs, yet neither do I.. hmm.. hypocrisy. Anyway I just have been going through so much transformation and wish I could write about it all. It's too much to put into words though. God is just incredible, giving me new and intense revelations every single day that have been blasting me. I have gotten so close to His heart these last few weeks, it astonishes me. I love being in His presence, His sweet, paralyzing, overwhelming, make me bawl my eyes out, then smile a lot, presence.

I have been playing the piano lately - something I haven't done in AGES. I missed it terribly. There's something about the piano that strikes my soul so deeply. It goes beyond my comprehension, and really takes me to a different place. I feel like I get a touch from the Lord every time I play or hear it being played. When I need to envision myself in my "secret place" with Jesus, it is either on a mountain top or in the back of a stain-glass sanctuary hearing distant piano music with strong chords mixed with luscious melodies. I love love love the way Jesus touches my heart. This song is an incredible example of something He has spoken to me through this week. You should listen to the whole thing! GORGEOUS.



Amen, hallelujah, I'm done.

Load up my Starbucks card!

Hey! So I'm going out on a limb here and giving all of 'my readers' the divine opportunity to reload my Starbucks card! I mean, why not, right?? I think this is the right link: https://www.starbucks.com/card/reload.asp
and here is my starbucks # 6051647917843936

Sweeeeet, thanks.

No Greater Love.

Today was the weirdest, and perhaps best Easter I've ever had. I was in Washington all weekend helping a friend out with her sister's wedding. I planned on driving straight home last night after the wedding, so I left her house at 9pm. Realizing I was too tired I stopped in at my sister's house up in Lacey, WA and stayed the night. I ended up sleeping in a bit this morning then hitting the road for home about 10:30 am. Ok so there's the background info.
While I was bummed that I wasn't home Easter morning, I had the best car ride with Jesus. I talked with him the whole way down and got deeper revelation of His Resurrection than ever before. I bawled my eyes out for maybe an hour and a half straight of the drive. Not too safe with the rain already on the roads, but I couldn't helped it. Here's what He showed me.

Jesus came to this earth to do the things that I struggle to do everyday. He loved the unlovable and rejected, he spoke TRUTH when it was not popular, He lived absolutely flawlessly to fulfill God's will and early prophecies. I get mad at drivers on the road. I roll my eyes at homeless beggers, I constantly think of how to make my life more comfortable. I get mad at my family for trivial things rather than love them. I hang out at my house when there's a world to be touched, a town that needs to hear the name of Jesus. I struggle EVERY day with these things, He lived this way. All for what? To save us - to save me from my wretchedness. Because He loves me so much that He couldn't picture eternity without me or anyone else of His creation. Because He wanted me to live my life to the fullest and have constant relationship with Him.

Gosh, I've heard this message spoken my entire life but am finally beginning to see what it means. The phrased "Jesus loves me" is taking on a whole new meaning and it is blowing my mind. I could never express what that car ride meant to me because it spoke to the deepest parts of me. I wish I could express it but it seems impossible.

Which Jesus do you follow? Which Jesus do you serve?
If Ephesians says to imitate Christ, why do I look so much like the world?

My Jesus bled and died for my sins;
He spent His time with thieves and liars.
He loved the poor and accosted the arrogant
So which one do I want to be?

Who is this that I follow? The picture of the American dream?
If Jesus was here would I walk right by on the other side, or would I fall down and worship at His Holy feet?

Jesus, I want to be face down before you my entire life, in everything I do, in every decision I make, in every conversation I have, in every friendship I am blessed with.

Oh Happy Day!

Thank you Jesus for giving me a reason to be alive, a reason to celebrate!!

no title

So, the day I posted that last one ended up being a very productive day. I got SO much done and it felt great. Ever since, I've still been very inspired to get lots done each day making it count. I feel going into detail is unnecessary because no one reads this blog anyways!

Thought I'd throw this in here for fun though:

Behold the inspiration for my "new" room! I'm going to be redecorating and I'm stoked.

Productivity.

Do you ever have a day that goes by that makes you think "what was the purpose of that day? did I even get anything accomplished? or - I wish I had done more that day."? I feel like I'm having more of those days in recent times. I know it's mostly my fault for not having a job (yet) or going to school right now... living at home like a bum, relying on babysitting and special cleaning projects around the house to make any sort of living. While I know I am a driven women, an aspiring doula and potential midwife, I feel like that's so far off for me and... what am I doing productively... now? It's a frustrating place to be. I feel so fickle with how I spend my time, my days.

Well, I have decided that today will be a productive one! It helps to have a reason to get up early - truly. This morning I took my older sister, Heather to the hospital for her grandma's surgery. (Heather came down from WA for a few days and is staying with us, hence why I took her). I feel like I have such a fresh beginning today, and I'm excited about that. I have a potential 2-3 preggo clients coming in the future which gives me something to look forward to. I turned in an application yesterday at my church's Day School as a substitute, which gives me something to look forward to. I'm helping a friend out next weekend with her sister's wedding in WA, since I have "wedding experience" from this last year alone. I have yoga to do, a dog to wash, a room to deep clean, a car to be washed / cleaned. AND I have a shower to take. K I have a lot of other thoughts going on right now, and surprisingly I haven't had caffeine! But I'll spare you for now and will update you tomorrow on how today went.

Jesus, help me make my days count!