Tuesday, January 20, 2009

That Love.

Ok, here's what I'm thinking.

"Perfect love casts out fear"

And that's all I'm going to say because that is rocking my world upside down right now. It may be yours too...

Monday, January 19, 2009

Such a GOOD day.

I am overwhelmingly blessed. I wish I had loads of photos to put up with every post I made, but I don't :-( However, I had an incredible day and I'm going to write about it because I am bubbling over with joy.

Last night, after Outward and a movie night, one of my BFF's, Amy, spent the night at my house. That was stinking fun. We woke up laughing about random stuff like always. She raced home to change into workout clothes, then we met down town at the Y with 'other BFF,' Tara for our Zumba class, then some weights after that. Incredible.. I love working out.

After the workouts, we walked to Rice Time and got SUSHI. Love of my life. I had to race out of there for a dentist appointment at 3. Tara and I decided to make it a BFF date day, because we don't see each other nearly enough. It's so sad. SO after my appointment, she met me at Lancaster mall and we shopped.. looking at clothes, puppies, diamond rings ;-), taking a strip of BFF photo booth pics, and buying candy from the $.25 machines.

Then, again, I raced home at 6 to have a yummy dinner with my family at home.. then changed (out of my workout clothes from earlier) to meet Tara AGAIN at Santiam 11 to watch Twilight. Let me discuss this movie.

When Tara suggested seeing it tonight (her second time) I was not super thrilled. Both of my sisters are really into the movie and the books, and were talking about it lots over Christmas break when we were all together. I thought it sounded LAME even though they tried to convince me it wasn't. Just to go against the grain of the rest of ... all girls ... I decided to hate it and never want to watch it, haha. But Tara told me there was really pretty scenery in it and I went soley for that reason. :-) It didn't take long for Edward Cullen to captivate my heart. I tried to fight it, but it wasn't working. His mystery, charm and violently passionate love and jealousy for his love, Bella made me melt. Tara and I talked briefly afterward about how this movie is stirring up something in girls of all ages who watch it. While a lot of guys think the movie is dumb or cheesy, it has a way with the ladies, as it did with me. I realized a couple of things;

1. Women are designed to be pursued with this passion, to be longed for. It's something implanted in each of us - the desire to be needed a well as passionately loved. Far too often we (women) settle for less than a MAN who is willing to healthily pursue us. We think it is a complete fairy tale concept and far from reality. I believe it will be my reality...

2. This is the more important and bigger picture of this passionate love and jealousy. CHRIST loves us, His body, His church, His beloved and we have no idea of how big, deep and wide His love is for us, so we choose to believe other things about Him. That He is judgmental, waiting to zap us if we sin again, disappointed in us for one thing or another, and that we are constantly needing to appease him. It saddens me that we have turned God's love for us into religion. We are the ones missing out when we view Him this way. His love is so much bigger than that.

There is something about a love story, like this one, that touches us deeply, and I don't think it's silly, it's who we were created to be - Lovers.

Random that I found a message of the love of Christ through a movie about a teen aged vampire, but He has been speaking to me in many creative ways about His love for me, for us. I could go ON and ON about how we were designed to be pursued and longed for, and how only Christ satisfies that, but I am getting tired and it's late. One of my favorite topics though.

Drowning in His love,


Thursday, January 15, 2009

He cares!

God's goodness never ceases to amaze me. As I was driving toward Monmouth / Independence today via South Salem, it was cloudy. It was over cast, foggy, cold and gross. So I talked to God about it. "Lord would you just bust through the clouds with glorious sun shine! Would you splendor just shine down on me today in this way - that I will have a new perspective of your beautiful creation through the sun shining on it. Would the river shimmer with the reflection of sun." etc etc. As I pulled out of vitae springs road, I saw a patch of blue sky. I was smiling reallllly big and said "more Lord, more!" And I kid you not, before my very own flipping eyes the clouds started vanishing! Like totally disappearing and the sun started shining through the driver side window, warming up my left cheek. I couldn't stop giggling. Before long, there were no clouds left in the Independence / Monmouth area, it was stunning. I asked my sister if it had been sunny there all day or if it just started and she said, "No, it's really weird. It was crappy just before you got here.." All I have to say is "GO JESUS" He cares so much for us - and He is so able to do anything!! Thank you, Lord

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

A Dream Coming to Reality

Over the past few months, it has become really big on my heart to move toward becoming a midwife as kind of my life calling. After lots of prayer and doubts and being scared about it etc, I have gotten clearer and clearer confirmation that this is something I will not only be good at, but also a way for me to bring glory to the Creator. To test out the waters, I have enrolled in a doula training course at Bates Technical College in Tacoma, WA. I am so stoked! It is a 40-hour intensive course (only two full weekends long) with lots of text, hands on training, and a test taken to become certified. (Plus attending several births and another short course). By the way, a doula is different from a midwife! A doula assists the mother emotionally during birth, remaining relaxed and setting the atmosphere of the whole labor experience. She helps the mother also with breathing, and working through the pain naturally and healthfully rather than turning to drugs. So, a doula does not actually catch the baby when it is delivered, but helps the momma a lot. It is kind of a way of getting my foot in the Midwifery door, perhaps I will just stay a doula for a while!
So.. to all my Expecting friends out there, if you have ever considered a doula, or are now looking into it at all, LET ME KNOW! It would help me work toward my future career / ministry and it would also help you have a healthy and relaxing birth experience. :-)

On another note, yesterday was such an amazing day for me. I got to go out to Monmouth to visit my lil sister at WOU. She had 4 hours of free time in between classes, so I treated her to Dutch Bros. and we went to the river and took photos for a while. I love it there. I just love Oregon, actually. Ya'll probably have me on facebook, so I don't need to upload many photos from it, but here are a few. I love her.