Gazing.

Enjoyed a mind blowing sermon last night at church. Had a great conversation about it today with my boyfriend. Last night Matt spoke about Psalm 27:4 and Isaiah 6, two of my favorite passages. I wrote recently about Psalm 27:4, and how it refreshes my soul, and also how it has comes up in my mind almost on a daily basis. The sermon did just what this passages does to me, reminds me of why I am here. My ultimate purpose in life is to live in communion with my Creator and beautiful Savior. I was teary-eyed for almost the entire sermon, being reminded of the beauty of my King. Psalm 27:4 says, "One thing I ask of the Lord, this will I seek; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple." The point Matt was honing in on is are we, as Christians, desiring MORE than ANYTHING to dwell in the presence of our Lord, and longing to gaze upon his beauty ALL the days of our lives?! Wow, this was convicting but refreshing at the same time.

I was telling Brian today my thoughts on this passage, and why it is such a special concept to me. As I talked to him, I was reminded myself of something special. My best gage on where my walk with the Lord is at, is whether or not I can say at any given moment "I want more than anything right now to be in the presence of my Lover." Or, basically the idea that if I were to die at this moment, would I have anything I would miss here on earth. For years now, probably since junior year of high school, that is where I set my spiritual standard. If I am ever at a place where I desire something on this earth (i.e. marriage, kids, a house, money etc) more than I desire to be in the presence of Almighty God, then I am far off and need to repent. That is the point that I need to go back to my number one love and not turn back! I can honestly say right now that I do long to be in the presence of Jesus more than anything this world can offer me. I want to dwell with him and be on my face in awe of His Majesty.

It was also Isaiah 6 that Matt spoke about, in accordance with this Psalm. It basically gives a more detailed view to us as believers of this beauty that we get to gaze upon in eternity. Isaiah 6:
1 In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple. 2 Above him were seraphs, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. 3 And they were calling to one another:
"Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty;
the whole earth is full of his glory."
4 At the sound of their voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke.

5 "Woe to me!" I cried. "I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the LORD Almighty."

6 Then one of the seraphs flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar. 7 With it he touched my mouth and said, "See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for."

8 Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?"
And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"

Without completely retyping Matt's sermon, I want to just focus on a point (or two). First of all, Isaiah had this insane vision of the Lord in all His glory, filling his temple with glory. What an awe-striking thought!!! To see the Creator of all things in His utmost glory, and not just for what we humans perceive Him as... what a moment. Even the angels humble themselves in His presence by covering their faces and feet with their wings, crying out "holy holy holy..." what a chilling thought! God is so much bigger than we can even comprehend, let alone give Him 'credit' for. Quick thought - while God is as close as a friend to His people, it kind of strikes a wrong cord with me when people say things like "God is so much fun" etc. based on things He's done for them. It's hard for me sometimes. But anyway.

Not only did God give Isaiah this incredible vision, but he burnt the words on his lips to go tell a sinful nation all about God's plan for them. After seeing this heavenly vision, Isaiah couldn't help but volunteer to be the one to tell the nation of the things God had revealed to him. Then it gets tough and complex, because God warned him that no one would listen to him all the years of his life of sharing this message burnt onto his lips. That's a whole other topic though!

I am mostly in awe of the beauty of our Lord, the bigness of our King. God, I repent for putting You either on the back burner, or for limiting You in Your holiness! The heavens are filled with the glory of Your robe alone! Your presence fills the earth, the universe, and everything in it. God I cannot comprehend You, but I know I LOVE You! Thank You for who you are, and the incredible sacrifice you made for me and all Your beloveds! Show me how to continue to gaze upon Your beauty all the days of my life!