I KNOW I AM LOVED BY THE KING!

I'm not sure how many blogs I've written about the song "How can I keep from singing" by Chris Tomlin, but I have to write another one. It inspires me so much each time I hear it and makes me cry almost everytime!

How can I keep from singing Your praise?
How can I ever say enough - how amazing is your love!
How can I keep from shouting your name?
I know I am loved by the King
and it makes my heart wanna sing!

Seriously when I am reminded that I am loved by the King of kings I get so excited by heart wants to burst out in song - so it usually does when I hear this song. I'm sad I'm not reminded of this enough in my day - to - day activities. I am recogizing it now - I am loved by the King, and it makes my heart wanna sing!

I can sing in the troubled times,
Sing when I win,
I can sing when I lose my step
and I fall down again
I can sing cause you pick me up
Sing, cause you're there
I can sing cause you hear me, Lord
when I call to you in prayer
I can sing with my last breath
Sing for I know
That I'll sing with the angels,
and the saints around the throne!

Go God!

Oh and PS to my perfect day!

Dave took me to coffee and now we're studying in the computer lab :-) He's such an amazing friend and I'm thankful for him. He has these "dave" stickers that he randomly puts on things...including my forehead.

"Under covers stayin' safe and warm"

So today was virtually a perfect day, despite the fact that I got hardly any homework done, nor have I worked on my teaching for Jonah this weekend. The good part was that first of all Alli treated me to sushi which was amazing - that girl is so generous! Then as we were eating on some outdoor tables, it started raining a bit...then pouring. It was kinda sad because we had walked there (it's about a mile away) plus I was wearing a white t-shirt...luckily I had a black tank underneth! Anyway once we got dried off after soaking through our clothes, I crawled into my loft bed and it was the best feeling ever! I had never felt so warm and comfortable in my bed. Also while I was falling asleep there was a major thunder storm that was going on for a good couple of hours. The only words I immediately thought of to describe the way I felt was in "Bubbly" by Colbie Caillat, so here it goes!

"I've been asleep for a while now,
you got me feelin like a child now.
Cause everytime I see your bubbly face,
I get the tingles in a silly place.

It starts in my toes and I crinkle my nose,
wherever it goes I always know.
You make me smile, please stay for a while now
Just take your time wherever you go.

The rain is fallin on my window pane,
but we are hidin in a safer place.
Under covers stayin safe and warm,
you give me feelings that I adore

They start in my toes and I crinkle my nose,
wherever it goes I always know.
You make me smile, please stay for a while now
Just take your time wherever you go.

What am I gonna say,
when you make me feel this way?
I just....m'mmm

It starts in my toes and I crinkle my nose,
wherever it goes I always know.
You make me smile, please stay for a while now
Just take your time wherever you go.
I've been asleep for a while now
you tuck me in just like a child now.
Cause everytime you hold me in your arms
I'm comfortable to feel your warmth.

It starts in my soul and I lose all control
when you kiss my nose the feeling shows.
You make me smile baby just take your time now
Holding me tight...wherever you go"

Now the references to him are not applicable to me right now..lol but I can't wait til they are!!! It was a cozy, bubbly, tingly, crinkly feeling! :-)

Adios Myspace!

Ohh the feeling of accomplishment, I love it. I have been thinking the last couple of months of "what if God told me to delete my myspace" and then I was thinking, oh he won't. I'm not totally sure if he wanted me to or not, but I just did it! Oh man what an amazing feeling. I realize I've spent hours everyday for the last 2.5 years looking at people's pictures - and at people's pics that I hardly even know. I found myself so caught up in other people's lives that I was not focused enough on moving on with mine. Well, I still have facebook, email and blogspot but I think myspace was my biggest downfall. I don't even really like facebook that much, so when I'm on it I can only be for a few minutes cause I don't like the layout of it, haha. Eventually I may get rid of that too but we'll see. While catching up on old friends is important, I think I can do that effeciently and more personally over email and phone calls. Anyway I'm just very happy with that right now, it feels so good.
Alli cancelled hers at the same time I did because she realized the same things I do about myspace and how much it unfortunately consumed our lives. Now we're finishing up some hw in the computer lab then going out to sushi! YUMMMMM!!
Love ya'll have a great day!!!!

God is still God

I just need to recognize and acknowledge that God is still awesome no matter what crap I'm going through in my life. No matter if my heart is broken, if things are hard for me to deal with, if relationships are broken, if my day isn't going right, if I'm scared to death of my future, all these things and more - God is still God. I seriously could not be more grateful for that, otherwise where would I be? Where would anyone be if God was not the one solid thing they could rely on? It would be a miserable state.

God, please help me turn my eyes to you during this hard time with the stuff I'm going through to only rely on you as my source. I recognize and acknowledge that you alone can fill my heart when it is hurting, and you alone can make all things new and better. I acknowledge that now, but help me to continually remember that when things get rough. God, You alone are the source of all things good, you alone are my strength and shield!! Help me be filled with you alone, not things that vanish. Thank you so much for who you are. You are the brilliant God and my Creator!!!!!

Countdown

My goodness!!! SBS is almost over, and I cannot handle it. As excited as I am to go home and live normally for a few months, I am getting more and more devastated that there are only 28 days left!!! Time flies when you're havin fun in God's Word. I've spent the majority of my 20th year in Kona Hawaii. Its just amazing to me, its so bitter sweet. I love the life I'm living here so much and I ADORE the people I live with. It's been such a special season in my life and it's hard to see it come to an end. Here's some pics of me and 3 of the 5 roommates I have! We had fun with Alli's photobooth!!!









Also I'm excited because one of these days comin up all of us roommates are going to dress cute and have a photographer (my friend Jenna) take photos of us somewhere beautiful...maybe "Queen's Bath" it's a beautiful small beach. It'll be so awesome cause I'll have something special to frame and remember forever. Nothin will ever replace this season and these friendships, and I'm challenged to remember that each time I say "get me out of Hawaii, I want to be home for the holidays" Life is crazy like that, especially the missionary's lifestyle. It's from one place to the next saying "hi" and "bye" to amazing people along the way. I think I'll learn the trick after a few more years.

Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving and birthday to Alli!!!! :-)

The Most Beautiful

"Can't get you out of my mind,
dreams about you and me all the time.
And when I look into your eyes,
I know I need to have you for all my life
For all my life, yeah

I will be yours forever, will you be mine for good?
We'll live our lives for Him together,
there's no one else I rather would
There's no one else I rather would

You're the most beautiuful of all, my darlin'
the most beautiful of all, my dove
I will cherish and adore you all my life
and I will serve you with my love
The Most Beautiful of all...

I thank the Lord for your love
and everyday I pray for you-and-me-us
I just can't praise Him enough
What a gift it is to give you love
I give you my love

I will be yours forever, will you be mine for good?
We'll live our lives for Him together,
there's no one else I rather would
There's no one else I rather would

You're the most beautiful of all my darlin'
the most beautiful of all, my dove
I will cherish and adore you all my life
and I will serve you with my love

The most beautiful of all my darlin
The most beautiful of all, my dove
I will cherish and adore you, all my life
and I will serve you with my love
The most beautiful of all."

Wow, I just can't wait to share this beautiful reality with the man of my dreams someday. I know he will appreciate me in this way because God has promised me his best. Also I desire to treat him this way, so it needs to go both ways. "What a gift it is to give you love" that is so amazing to me. Praise Him that the man of my dreams will feel this way about me for the rest of my life. :-) Thank you, Father.

Thinking about my Creator

Listening of course to Daniel Lehmann, I am reminded of how amazing MY Creator is!

"We are a people without excuse,
all that's created and all that is good,
speaks of the wonder of God!
And all that is seen and all that is heard
is proof of his unending love for the world.
The voices will never be heard,
but the unspoken truth will endure...

'Cause you are Creator, the brilliant God!
Creation's an echo of all that You are!
The night and the day whisper words from afar,
and they speak of the glory of God,
yeah they speak of the glory of God!

How can I hide from your presence, O God?
You're with me wherever I go.
I look to the sky and I'm wonderin' why,
we ever thought we're in control,
how could we ever think we're in control?

'Cause you are Creator, the brilliant God!
Creation's an echo of all that You are!
The night and the day whisper words from afar,
and they speak of the glory of God,
yeah they speak of the glory of God!

Glory, glory, glory to the Almighty God!
Glory, glory, glory to the Almighty God!
Cause You are Creator the brillinat God,
Creation's an echo of all that You are!
The night and the day whisper words from afar,
and they speak of the glory of God!
Yeah they speak of the glory of God!"

It's nice to take a break from the work I've been doing with Nahum and pause to be reminded of how huge my God is. I don't think about that enough. What's cool is that we have the choice to stop focusing on the small details of our life and look toward him and all is okay. "Take the mirror away from our faces" if you will, so that we no longer are stuck in our crap, cause otherwise we will just get depressed!!!
One thing I need to watch is using the word "awesome" too much. I've been convicted lately of the power of that word, and when I use it flippantly or sarcastically it completely defiles a word that should only describe my Creator. Hmm...food for thought.

It's officially time...

...To hit the sack!!
It's Isaiah week!! I pity those who read this and don't understand SBS lingo. Basically I have had 36 charts to do on this book (the longest book we've charted in the whole school) and it's actually been pretty good. I have to turn it in tomorrow evening and I still have 10 left, but they're pretty short. It's almost 1am and I'm in the class room waiting for Tedi to finish up so we can go to the room. When my vision starts getting blurry, I know it's time to stop studying.

On another note, me and Alli are walking to Mel's house tomorrow (our personal trainer) to spend the evening with her! I'm so excited, being able to get off campus and go to a home is really a breath of fresh air, and to be done with Isaiah as well will be absolutely amazing.

I really need to post more blogs! I thought I'd be doing it everyday, but it's not that easy with this work load. Today Alli and I went on a couple mile walk and talked the whole time about our future homes with our hubbies. It was so much fun, I love expanding my imagination and thinking about those things. God is so good, he has been giving me glimpses of my future husband so much - things about what he looks like, many of his characteristics and what not. It makes me look forward to meeting him lots but at the same time I have such peace that I'm definitely not about to rush it. It's all in God's hands and timing. It sure is fun to plan my wedding and my future home, though. It will be cool to see my life's story unfold over time and see where God takes me as far as missions and future family life. I'm so glad He is who He is!!! The Bible is rad. If you get the chance to do any sort of intensive study then do it. No matter how hard it is it is so worth it, if you keep the right focus. SBS is equevelant to 4 years of seminary!! Sorry I keep talking about it, I'm trying to spread the word though as I'm going to be staffing it next year. :-) woo hooo.

I'm going to try to put up pics sometime on this thing and update my background. Ok well I am officially pooped. Good night and I love you. (whoever this is, probably only me reading it lol).

Through Him I can do this!!

Lots of nothing

I have really been wanting to blog lately but I don't have on specific thing to write about which is sad. there is so much that goes on each day that keeps my mind so busy!

I think the biggest thing right now is that I'm down to 5.5 weeks left of this school! I was unsure if it was ok to be feeling excited about this, until I talked to a lovely Brittish woman from my school about it and she said she was very very excited as well. :o) I don't feel guilty anymore. This school has been so much work and non stop at that for the past 7 months or so, I am definitely ready for a break!!!! Woooooo home for the holidays. I could not be any more excited, I don't think.

On another note...facebook. I got one last week and its been an interesting experience. I'm feeling a little frazzled each time I get online and I have to go to gmail, facebook, myspace and blogspot. So I'm thinking its time to make some sacrifices and give up at least one of those. I'm not sure which one yet but we'll see. Definitely not blogspot, I think its my favorite thing.

Well I think I need to get goin on some hw and also let Alli use her computer. I'm tired. and bloated unfortunately. If I get something amazing to blog I will asap. Peace love and muffins!!

Haishi's!

I love sushi. It's been months since I've had it, so me and a couple of friends (Alli, Dave and Ray) are going in a couple of hours to Haishi's to get yummy sushi. I'm pumped.
My goodness I can't believe how quickly time flies, only 6 weeks til this school is over and I'm HOME! Its just crazy. Well I thought I had lots of stuff to blog about but I cannot really collect my thoughts right now. I'll get back to ya when I can!!

Facebook / gmail / myspace here I come....

The more I seek You

The more I seek You, the more I find You;
The more I find You, the more I love You;

I want to sit at Your feet, drink from the cup in Your hand;
Lay back against You and breathe, feel Your heart beat;
This love is so deep, it's more than I can stand;
I melt in Your peace, it's overwhelming

I want *warm fuzzies*

So this whole missing fall thing is really getting to me. It hit me and Apryl on Halloween when we were stuck in a computer lab doing homework WITHOUT CANDY! What kinda of sick life is that? Halloween with no candy, thats wrong. haha so we actually got some candy corn from one of our leaders, it was pretty homey. I truly miss fall. I miss the "warm fuzzies" this time of year brings to me, inside and out! Warm fuzzie sweaters are great as well as some nice new jeans (which I currently do not have any). Not to mention the literally warm things like hot chocolate, spiced apple cider, hot coffee (thats a joke here most days). I also love the feeling of being bundled up inside by a fire place chatting it up with friends or reading a book by myself. Raking leaves and jumping in the piles, taking walks around the cold / brisk neighborhood, looking intricately at one amazing leaf, lighting candles, baking and the list goes on...

Life is such a funny thing. I am realizing that on this side of heaven I am never completely content where I am, my heart is never satisfied. When I'm home I want to get away and life in paradise, when I'm in paradise I want to go home to another sort of paradise. I honestly don't think I can be completely satisfied no matter where I am. Maybe thats how we are wired? God may not want us to become too comfortable here on earth, so that we can only find our comfort in him. That will truly come to pass when we are with him in heaven - I know for certain I will not want to be anywhere else once I am there. Life is still a funny thing though. That does not change my craving to be home in Oregon....sigh....

I've been thinking a lot lately about marriage. Wow. I have come to see (through certain married friends) that even marriage does not fill the gap in ones heart for love...yet I believe a godly marriage can reflect the love relationship between the Maker and his people. Marriage is such a beautiful thing when done right, and such a disaster when not done under the Lord's guidence. I'm so glad I am waiting for HIS guidence, and that I am able to surrender that area of my life to him. I've been looking at wedding dresses, imaging the perfect songs and colors, even glanced at some engagement rings. This can be a very dangerous thing but also a very exciting thing for me. Dangerous if I dwell too much on it and choose to be unhappy that I'm not there yet. Ah I can't even tap the surface of the depths of my thoughts on this topic. I'm glad I'm single but I also will be happy to meet prince charming. I have full confidence that the man I marry will be so amazing and mysterious to me that I will feel nothing less than I am in a fairy tale...God's timing is key.

Ugh...life is a funny thing....