So this whole missing fall thing is really getting to me. It hit me and Apryl on Halloween when we were stuck in a computer lab doing homework WITHOUT CANDY! What kinda of sick life is that? Halloween with no candy, thats wrong. haha so we actually got some candy corn from one of our leaders, it was pretty homey. I truly miss fall. I miss the "warm fuzzies" this time of year brings to me, inside and out! Warm fuzzie sweaters are great as well as some nice new jeans (which I currently do not have any). Not to mention the literally warm things like hot chocolate, spiced apple cider, hot coffee (thats a joke here most days). I also love the feeling of being bundled up inside by a fire place chatting it up with friends or reading a book by myself. Raking leaves and jumping in the piles, taking walks around the cold / brisk neighborhood, looking intricately at one amazing leaf, lighting candles, baking and the list goes on...
Life is such a funny thing. I am realizing that on this side of heaven I am never completely content where I am, my heart is never satisfied. When I'm home I want to get away and life in paradise, when I'm in paradise I want to go home to another sort of paradise. I honestly don't think I can be completely satisfied no matter where I am. Maybe thats how we are wired? God may not want us to become too comfortable here on earth, so that we can only find our comfort in him. That will truly come to pass when we are with him in heaven - I know for certain I will not want to be anywhere else once I am there. Life is still a funny thing though. That does not change my craving to be home in Oregon....sigh....
I've been thinking a lot lately about marriage. Wow. I have come to see (through certain married friends) that even marriage does not fill the gap in ones heart for love...yet I believe a godly marriage can reflect the love relationship between the Maker and his people. Marriage is such a beautiful thing when done right, and such a disaster when not done under the Lord's guidence. I'm so glad I am waiting for HIS guidence, and that I am able to surrender that area of my life to him. I've been looking at wedding dresses, imaging the perfect songs and colors, even glanced at some engagement rings. This can be a very dangerous thing but also a very exciting thing for me. Dangerous if I dwell too much on it and choose to be unhappy that I'm not there yet. Ah I can't even tap the surface of the depths of my thoughts on this topic. I'm glad I'm single but I also will be happy to meet prince charming. I have full confidence that the man I marry will be so amazing and mysterious to me that I will feel nothing less than I am in a fairy tale...God's timing is key.
Ugh...life is a funny thing....
No comments:
Post a Comment