Decorating what I can

I am such a homemaker. No, I don't have my own home...yet. ;o) So for now I love to put my decoration ideas into practice in my bedroom. It's become my own place - my getaway from everything (aka everyone) else going on in this house. I take some pride in the appearance of it, and I really like imagining doing these things with my own home someday. Here are some of my favorite parts of my bedroom. <3

I love my headboard! The Christmas lights on it are a fun touch, I like it!




My swirly mirror from Spencer's Ally! LOVE IT! (In the reflection is my desk with a huge photobooth photo of Tara and I in high school, lol.)


Christmas Tree and window seat. :)


Cutest picture frame ever, with scrapbook papers in it. :) I really like this little corner.


Just some fun photos and inspiring quotes. I love the one of my grandparents holding hands walking...




So excited for Christmas! The end.

Babysitting the Porter chillins!

I love these kids. That's about all I have to say.. they are deliciously cute!

Sing, sing, sing!

One of my current favorite worship songs by Chris Tomlin!

Sing, sing, sing, and make music with the heavens!
Sing, sing, sing, grateful that You hear us,
when we shout Your praise, lift high the name of Jesus!

What's not to love about You?
Heaven and earth adore You!
Kings and kingdoms bow down;
Son of God You are the One!
You are the One, we're living for!

You are the love that frees us,
You are the light that leads us;
Like a fire burning,
Son of God, You are the One!!
You are the One... we're living for!

Sing, sing, sing and make music with the heavens!
Sing, sing, sing, grateful that You hear us
when we shout Your praise, lift high the name of Jesus!

Canned Food Drive for Hope Station.

So, after my rant on not celebrating Halloween, I did. I guess "celebrate" isn't the right word, but I participated in a trick-or-treat canned food drive for Hope Station, with Outward. We collected LOTS of food, between all the groups that went trick-or-treating (midday, by the way). It was a really great cause, and we all had a blast collecting food for those in need! One thing I love about everyone in our church, is that we cannot really get enough of each other. We love to spend time together, and never have a dull moment. It made for a very, very fun afternoon! Afterward a few of us hung out at the church, talked / ate / watched Edward Scissor Hands. (Weird movie). It was an amazing day, and there were some really, really amazing costumes.

We were cowboy and cowgirl. Brian got badges from his parents, which made me Sheriff and him, Ranger. So much fun! And our hats are actually his parents that they got on their honeymoon road trip to Reno. We insisted to wear the hats, because of the story behind them... ;) Regardless of the fact that his was FAR too small. Everyone let him know it didn't fit well, lol. He has such an awesome attitude about those things though. (BTW, I realize I have a double chin in this photo. I'm trying to be light hearted about it, and even laugh. However, that was my cue that it's time to start shedding pounds! Lol).





Fun, fun!!

Great Adventures!

Last Tuesday, (Brian's day off) Brian and I headed out to Detroit for a fun adventure! We both have a passion for the outdoors. We love admiring the beauty of our Creator in nature, and Oregon is SUCH an amazing place to do so! I have never driven out that way any other time of year except summer, so it was so refreshing and nice to see the beautiful colors in the trees. One thing that blew our minds on the drive out, was the beautiful mist rising among the trees on the mountains. SO GORGEOUS!






Sadly, my old school camera and lack of any photography talent does this scenery no justice! But I thought I'd share anyway! Once we got to our destination, we loaded up a couple of Brian's guns and shot targets. Not going to lie, I'm a pretty good shot! Nothing compared to Brian, he is always spot on.. his friends brag to me about how great of a shot he is. :) Hottie.




We had a little over a solid hour of shooting and sunshine, before it started to pour. At that point we decided to sit in the truck for a while and take photos. We have way too much fun together, I don't think it should be allowed! Everyday we ask each other "are you REAL?!" How on earth could I be dating someone who loves things I love, and teaches me things that I want to learn? God is SO GOOD!

::Laughing fest / accidental photo::

After lunch at a super cozy restaurant in town, we were pulling out and saw the best license plate ever!! Brian spotted it, and we LOVED IT!!!


I love blogging, it's like a journal documenting fun events and thoughts on life.

Choose faith, not fear.

As of late, I have becoming more and more convicted about the way our society tells us to celebrate holidays. It kind of hit me really hard this past Easter season, how much we (Americans) have cheapened a holy day as precious to our faith as Easter. The death and RESURRECTION of our Lord and Savior, the One who gave it all so that we can have life everlasting, a life that we do not deserve in the least. This last week I recalled a status update I wrote on facebook at Easter time along the lines of being saddened by the pastels, bunnies, and eggs that have stolen our focus from the celebration of Jesus' sacrifice for US. It's one thing to celebrate spring and the fun colors, it's another to let it completely take our focus off the beauty of the Man with nail scarred hands.

While thinking about how saddened I was at Easter this year, I have also been feeling sad about the celebration of Halloween. For some reason, it has never set well with me to take part in a holiday that was founded on searching out spirits of the dead and chasing away demons. Not only is that something weird and dark to celebrate in general, but especially as a Christian who claims to live in the light of Jesus Christ. I hate that it's called a holiday which = holy day. My best friend, Tara, was raised in a wonderful Christian home, and her parents chose to celebrate All Saints Day (Nov. 1) rather than Halloween. I always found this very interesting, since I was a kid I thought I would like to celebrate this holiday rather than Halloween, with my future family! I have been doing a little bit of research this past week on All Saints Day and the founding of Halloween. All Saints Day was actually founded long before Halloween, and it is to celebrate the lives of saints / martyrs who lived for the Faith.

I have had this topic fresh on my mind for a while now, and yesterday I just so happened to run into Tara's mom, Beth's blog. Very fascinating. She is a FANTASTIC writer. Her latest post is on this very topic and the reasoning behind her choosing to celebrate this holiday with her family rather than Halloween. It is very cool timing, and I think God is really teaching me something big through this. I am going to get back to my research now, and soak in all my thoughts. I have many more to write about, but can't seem to compose them well right now.

Aloha from Kona!

I have been told by some sources that I need to write a new post, so here it goes! Not sure what specifically to write about, so we shall find out soon, I suppose.

I am on day 7 of my lovely Kona trip, only 4 more to go! It has been such an amazing trip to catch up with my incredible friends, take a break from life, and reflect on the goodness of my Father. It's interesting, because it may look like I planned this Hawaii trip for a "vacation" or to get away, but that's really not it at all. I planned this trip primarily to see friends that my heart missed terribly, to catch up with people who have influenced my life in GREAT ways, that just so happen to be separated from me by a big ocean. Being here with them has done so much that phone calls and skype just cannot accomplish. It has been a very low-key trip. Not much - actually, any, site seeing or typical tourist attractions, just hanging out at people's houses, coffee shops, and occasionally the beach. That's the cool part about my living here almost 2 years, that the sites have been seen and it's so much more important to me to catch up on my relationships. I shall post some photos now!










THANK YOU LORD for these amazing friends who have so richly blessed my life. They have all been such vessels of truth and blessing from you, to me. Thank you that I have the opportunity to spend 10 days on a rock in the middle of the Pacific to become refreshed and enjoy the presence of You and my dearly loved friends. You are such an amazing Father, I love you.

Oh baby baby.

Here is Langston giggling at me - adorable!

3 days and counting!

Tisk tisk, what a bad blogger I have been! Not totally sure what I'm going to write about today, but I need to blog. Currently, I am listening to a worship mix on my Itunes, just laid the baby down, sipping on my Almond Joy from Dutch bros. annnnnnd watching "A Baby Story" on TLC. (It's muted so I can hear the music). My amazing best friend, Tara, stopped by a couple of hours ago and brought me coffee and we had a great convo before she had to go to work. Speaking of work, I need a new job. :( After my trip to Hawaii (which I will talk about in a min.) my hours will be cut from 20-25 a week, to like... 8. It's good for the family's financial situation, I'm sure, but I'm a little bummed about it. I absolutely adore my job and it will be hard to find something that compares. But God will provide, I'm sure! It will actually be fun to see where He leads.

So, 3 days. 3 days and I will see my Kona loves in paradise! I am ecstatic! I am pretty stoked to get a sweet tan, swim in the depths on the crystal blue Hawaiian waters, and mostly, to see my incredible friends and 'family' there. Over the last week I have made a bit of a 'schedule' as to who I will get to spend time with each of the days I will be there. I'm looking forward to many coffee / dinner dates, beach trips with friends, possibly a road trip up Mauna Kea? An amazing mountain (volcano) that once you reach the top, you are above the clouds. Makes for an amazing sunset and star gazing experience!! Cannot wait to post some photos! Whatever you do... don't be jealous of me, ok?! ;-)

Welp, I suppose that's about it for now. I could write a bunch about Brian.. but don't know where to start. Things are still awesome and getting better and better everyday. I am just so blown away by the love of Christ right now. I LOVE YOU, LORD!

Happy one month-iversary!

...to me! My darling boyfriend surprised me with these last night! Thanks babe!!

Lemonade!

Just to give ya'll a glance into how incredible sappy Brian and I are together, this has officially became "our song." It's called "Lemonade" by Chris Rice. Just a super cute love song he wrote about his wife, and since Brian and I started dating he listened to this song often, and introduced me to it. Now it's my ringtone for him! :) :)
(Very cheesy video, but I wanted you to hear it and see the lyrics:)



We have been so blessed over this last month! Monday was 4 weeks of dating, Thursday the 17th is an official month! He is such an incredible man of God and boyfriend. I wish I could begin to describe how amazing he is in my blogs, but I really cannot. He has blessed and enriched my life so much in this past month, and I cannot wait to continue to be enriched by him. :) I love to bless him, because I realllllllly like him!

A Morning Girl.

I have decided that I thoroughly enjoy my mornings. When done healthily, that is! Not when I wake up 20 minutes before I have to go to work, and don't get the chance to get ready or breakfasted. But mornings like today make me really happy. I woke up at 4:50, that part wasn't my favorite. But once I got out of bed and moving a bit, I was ready to go! Put on my workout gear, and headed downtown to the Y for my 5:30 body flex class. That is, basically, working every major muscle group, very repeatedly and with lots of weight. Kind of intense. By the time I was done, I did a little extra ab work, some extra stretches for good measure and headed home. I love the quietness of the world in the morning. The sun was rising as I was driving home, the air was crisp and it was so refreshing outside. Currently, I am eating my favorite breakfast, which is oatmeal (old fashion oats), with a spoonful of peanut butter for protein, raisins for natural sweetening and fiber, and honey for its deliciousness. I just love my morning! I have over an hour until I need to leave for work now, which gives me lots of time to shower and get pretty for my day.

Thank you Lord for the glory of mornings! :-) And while I'm at it, thank you, Lord, for Brian!!!

Gazing.

Enjoyed a mind blowing sermon last night at church. Had a great conversation about it today with my boyfriend. Last night Matt spoke about Psalm 27:4 and Isaiah 6, two of my favorite passages. I wrote recently about Psalm 27:4, and how it refreshes my soul, and also how it has comes up in my mind almost on a daily basis. The sermon did just what this passages does to me, reminds me of why I am here. My ultimate purpose in life is to live in communion with my Creator and beautiful Savior. I was teary-eyed for almost the entire sermon, being reminded of the beauty of my King. Psalm 27:4 says, "One thing I ask of the Lord, this will I seek; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple." The point Matt was honing in on is are we, as Christians, desiring MORE than ANYTHING to dwell in the presence of our Lord, and longing to gaze upon his beauty ALL the days of our lives?! Wow, this was convicting but refreshing at the same time.

I was telling Brian today my thoughts on this passage, and why it is such a special concept to me. As I talked to him, I was reminded myself of something special. My best gage on where my walk with the Lord is at, is whether or not I can say at any given moment "I want more than anything right now to be in the presence of my Lover." Or, basically the idea that if I were to die at this moment, would I have anything I would miss here on earth. For years now, probably since junior year of high school, that is where I set my spiritual standard. If I am ever at a place where I desire something on this earth (i.e. marriage, kids, a house, money etc) more than I desire to be in the presence of Almighty God, then I am far off and need to repent. That is the point that I need to go back to my number one love and not turn back! I can honestly say right now that I do long to be in the presence of Jesus more than anything this world can offer me. I want to dwell with him and be on my face in awe of His Majesty.

It was also Isaiah 6 that Matt spoke about, in accordance with this Psalm. It basically gives a more detailed view to us as believers of this beauty that we get to gaze upon in eternity. Isaiah 6:
1 In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple. 2 Above him were seraphs, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. 3 And they were calling to one another:
"Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty;
the whole earth is full of his glory."
4 At the sound of their voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke.

5 "Woe to me!" I cried. "I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the LORD Almighty."

6 Then one of the seraphs flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar. 7 With it he touched my mouth and said, "See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for."

8 Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?"
And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"

Without completely retyping Matt's sermon, I want to just focus on a point (or two). First of all, Isaiah had this insane vision of the Lord in all His glory, filling his temple with glory. What an awe-striking thought!!! To see the Creator of all things in His utmost glory, and not just for what we humans perceive Him as... what a moment. Even the angels humble themselves in His presence by covering their faces and feet with their wings, crying out "holy holy holy..." what a chilling thought! God is so much bigger than we can even comprehend, let alone give Him 'credit' for. Quick thought - while God is as close as a friend to His people, it kind of strikes a wrong cord with me when people say things like "God is so much fun" etc. based on things He's done for them. It's hard for me sometimes. But anyway.

Not only did God give Isaiah this incredible vision, but he burnt the words on his lips to go tell a sinful nation all about God's plan for them. After seeing this heavenly vision, Isaiah couldn't help but volunteer to be the one to tell the nation of the things God had revealed to him. Then it gets tough and complex, because God warned him that no one would listen to him all the years of his life of sharing this message burnt onto his lips. That's a whole other topic though!

I am mostly in awe of the beauty of our Lord, the bigness of our King. God, I repent for putting You either on the back burner, or for limiting You in Your holiness! The heavens are filled with the glory of Your robe alone! Your presence fills the earth, the universe, and everything in it. God I cannot comprehend You, but I know I LOVE You! Thank You for who you are, and the incredible sacrifice you made for me and all Your beloveds! Show me how to continue to gaze upon Your beauty all the days of my life!

Oh my heart.

Sweetest little thing ever!

Fun in the Sun.

So, yesterday was probably, officially, the best beach day of my life. Not only because it was HOT outside, crystal clear skies, and blue water, but because I got to spend it with someone extremely special to me. Yes.. Brian. We had a blast! We started out at the beach in Lincoln City, laying in the sun, enjoying the company and reading the Word. We were there for about 2 1/2 hours before we decided it was actually too hot for our liking and we needed AC! So we went to Starbucks down the street, which just so happened to not have AC, lol. But it was good anyway. After that we decided to check out some glass blowing facilities! The first place we went was a very small business held out of an older house, which was fun. :) We missed the opportunity to watch the act of glass blowing at the first spot, so we found another place and caught the tail end of the glass blowing for the day. The art was SO incredible, colorful and unique. We had a blast there. After that, we headed to Mo's (Brian's first clam chowder experience in 10 years), and enjoyed the sites. Then it was back to the beach to watch the sunset and listen to worship.. okay... incredible. My word it was a total blast. I was so thankful to be able to spend the entire day with my boyfriend. :) Excellent.

Short but Sweet!

Today I was a wedding coordinator's assistant. :) Actually, I just watched Chris Porter's baby girl, Reagan, while Chris was putting together a wedding rehearsal. We had fun together, she was such a smiley baby. Here she is!!!!



Love her. :)

I've already written a post on this song, but I'm just going to give you a link.

http://www.myspace.com/trillium1

Listen to "Dry Bones." I can't get over it right now.

I Really Love You

I am babysitting a very wiped out 10 month old princess at the moment. After laying her down for bed, I decided my soul needs some refreshing - some Jesus time. I am listening to my current favorite worship leader, Rick Pino's song "I Really Love You." For the most part it is an almost free-style song (not as in rap, lol) where he sings out what is on his heart. It's about a 10 minute song, but I listen to it almost everyday on my way to or from work. It has so many scriptures packed into one song I couldn't be more restored than I am after I listen to it. Here's one of my favorite sections:

"I really love you... I really want you...
You lead me beside still waters, O Lord, there You restore my soul.
O Lord, whom have I in heaven but You? You are the Author and Finisher of all faith, O Lord!
O God, lead me not into temptation, O Lord, but may my cup be overflowing!
I shall not want, I shall not be in want, I really love You!

I really love you... I really want you...
O Lord, make us one with the Father, make us one with the Son, make us one with the Holy Spirit as You are three in one!
O Jesus we desire the unity of heaven, O God so we may see Your face!
Give us clean hands, give us pure hearts, for the pure in heart shall see God!
So we tell You O Lord, we tell You, O Lord,
I really love you... I really want you..."

For some reason the phrase that always strikes me the hardest is "for the pure in heart shall see God." It comes from Psalm 24:3-4 which says,

"Who may ascend the hill of the Lord?
Who may stand in his holy place?

He who has clean hands and a pure heart,
who does not life up his soul to an idol
or swear by what is false."

Once again, I am finding myself lacking a conclusion to my thoughts. I love that song, I love that Psalm, and because God loves me so, He has put it in my heart. Truths to live by! Now that I am entering a new season of life, I seek so desperately to have clean hands and a pure heart. Lord, make this my desire always, in and out of every season! I really love You.

Nothing like star gazing in a wheat field with a man after God's own heart.

Longest title ever!!! But it definitely sums up my life right now. Wow, I am just in awe right now over God's love for me and a man named Brian Bradley. He is my new boyfriend. :) Life has been a whirlwind the last week or so, I haven't been able to compose any thoughts to blog about thus far. In fact, right now I am still trying to put my thoughts about all of this into words, so bare with me.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am being pursued!!! And it feels incredible. :) Brian and I have been going to Outward Church basically since it started up two years ago. I, however, have been in Hawaii for the majority of those two years and lacked the chance to get to know many people, other than my close friends. Branching out is a good thing, I've discovered. :-) Now, I have been home since December and have had the chance to really get plugged into the church and build some awesome friendships with lots of men and women after God's heart. It is such a privilege to be part of this church! I have admired Brian for quite some time now, since he gave his testimony in front of the church a few months ago. However, I never put too much thought into it for various reasons. I have known for a while though, that he is one solid man of God who would make any girl a very blessed one. Secretly wishing it could be me, but doubting it was possible.

After a long talk last night under the stars, I discovered he has been thinking I, also, would be a cool person to get to know. All I have to say is thank goodness for match making friends! A push my direction from Josh, and hints here and there from my Amy girl have brought Brian and I to the point we are now - boyfriend and girlfriend! I am SO thankful for not only matchmaking friends interested in my relationship status, but GODLY friends who see the deeper possibilities behind such matchmaking. Brian and I had our first official date last Thursday evening - which was wonderful btw. We've been hanging out ever since and decided to take it deeper. It's happening fast, it's a whirlwind and it is exciting. I could write so, so much more about him but I guess I will save those for later posts. :)

It's great to get my thoughts out here, because for some reason lately I have been hesitant in my journaling. Hesitant = lazy.

On another note...

Please soak in this quote. It makes me cry and I read it over and over again! It's from the book Blue Like Jazz

"Years ago He was a swinging speck in the distance; Now He is close enough I can hear His singing. Soon I will see the lines on His face."


Story of my life. Love it!

E.R. experience.

I have always had a sensitivity to caffeine. Since high school when I first started enjoying caffeine in whatever form, I often get heart palpitations which has always freaked me out. I have always intended to get it checked out by the doctor, but put that on the back burner. Needless to say, coffee has always been more of an occasional treat for me than a regular 'pick me up' every morning. However the last maybe month or so I have had a cup (yes, one) everyday either at work or later in the day just for fun, thinking it would give me a greater tolerance for it. Bad idea!

I guess it all came to a peek yesterday when I got a big scare about it. All night (Monday) I could not get an ounce of sleep because my heart was beating ridiculously fast, hard and so painful. It was a very sharp pain and I had no idea how to manage it. I tried to control my breathing, raise my arm for circulation etc. but nothing worked. So I had no sleep. Then all day yesterday (Tuesday) I had the same problem. ALL day my heart was pounding super sharp pains, it was like a huge ache in my side. I cried all day long. Then what really scared me was after the baby I nanny had been asleep for about an hour, I sat down to read and experienced numbing in my left arm. Kind of a tingling / asleep arm feeling I couldn't shake off. Left hand started turning a bit purple etc. I was so scared! Then on top of it I got a massive head ache and tons of pressure behind mainly my left eye. I cried, prayed, cried, prayed didn't know what to do because I haven't purchased health insurance yet. It was horrible. Later in the evening, at life group, the left arm tingling came back for about 3 hours straight and the heart, still painful. My friends convinced me to go to urgent care (which was closed) then we went to the E.R.

At the E.R. I got a cool gown, an EKG, heart monitors, blood drawn, x-rays and many interviews from nurses and doctors. After all was said and some everything looked healthy and normal. They couldn't really figure out what I had experienced, other than having a super sensitivity to caffeine. Kind of extreme pain, in my opinion, just from caffeine, but that's all they could suspect. Still experiencing sharp pains in my heart today, but it's a bit better than yesterday. Mkkk that is my exciting story! I am at peace after all that happened last night, still needing to be wise, however, of my decisions in food and drink. Thanks everyone for your concern and prayers! I could still use the prayer about the sharpness and discomfort.

Thank you Lord for parents and friends who care so much about my health and well-being. Thank you that nothing horrible turned up in the blood test and x-rays last night. Please heal my heart.

Thursday

Oh I laughed at myself this morning as I was thinking about what my tomorrow (Thursday) looks like. It's kind of funny, just thought I should share:

Nannying job: 9:30am-2:30pm
Check on Puppeto (the dog I am sitting for)
Piano Lesson for Kaitlyn: 3:30-4:00
Babysit Jacob and Lizzie: 5:00-6:00
Babysit Lauralyn: 7:00-midnight.

Excellent.

Seasons.

I really love summer in Oregon. I feel so blessed to live in a state with such incredible seasons - very warm / hot / sunny summers, crisp colorful autumns, cold and sometimes snowy winters, and bright springs! It seems that even when I am in an awesome season, I look forward to the next one. I must admit right now, I am becoming giddy inside day dreaming about autumn!!! Ahh the beautiful rising fog in the mornings, the crisp fresh air and orange, red, and yellow leaves all over the place! I have not had a fall in two years, due to living in Hawaii. I feel like I have been looking forward to fall for ages and ages. However, I find myself needing to slow down and enjoy the season we are in right now:





Thank you Lord for summer, I really do enjoy it! :-)

Frustration!

Oh I am so peeved right now. I am watching the Tyra show, and it is a segment on racism. It is featuring 10 or so people with different races speaking out their view on the other races. It is for the most part negative. I am just so frustrated. There was just a blurb on a white, blonde hair blue eyed girl who started dating a Latino man. Her best friend found out about this and got in her face yelling at her about it. Now, on the show, her best friend explains "I was raised in a Christian home, with Christian values. And I was taught that in the Bible we are told not to date outside of our race." She goes on to defend herself saying things like "I know it sounds dumb, but that's what I have been taught from my parents and grand parents about the Bible." My heart rate shot through the roof when I heard that. I GOT SO ANGRY. I hate that Christians can be seen / portray themselves as such IDIOTS. I'm not sure what passage she could possibly be referring to, but I'm sure it is a passage written to a specific audience, and God gave them that command for a very specific reason. Probably keeping his people separate from the pagen idol worshippers of the time. IT IS NOT A TIMELESS TRUTH! Ahhhh I had to get that out. It is so important for Christians to rise up and study the Word for themselves and not be spoon fed, especially when what they are taught totally contradicts other parts of scripture. I.E. "Love your neighbor as yourself..."

Ok that's it.

One thing I ask...

Wow, this passage has been ringing so beautifully in my head and heart for weeks now. The Lord brings it to my mind at some of the most random times, and I almost break down every time I hear it.

Psalm 27:4

"One thing I ask of the Lord,
this I will seek;
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord
and to seek him in his temple."

Ah, how this passage refreshes and lifts my spirit! I know that this will be a reward for me, and every single believer in Jesus Christ, as we live out the calling He has given us! We GET to dwell in the presence of Almighty GOD - the Maker of heaven and earth and everything in between. The one who longs to ravish our souls everyday if only we would let him. The one who created our inmost being, having so many hopes and dreams for us. He is so beautiful. My favorite part about this passage, is that it's not necessarily just talking about heaven or eternity. I believe so strongly that we are able to live a life that constantly gazes upon the beauty of the Lord! That we can see so much of him in our day to day lives by shifting our focus. Right now I write completely convicted that I do not live this way enough. Since I got home from work today, I have done absolutely nothing productive. I have sat around my house feeling lonely, bored, and lazy. I am so ashamed that when there is a God whose beauty is entrancing, I have been twiddling my thumbs. He is worth so much more than that, and I so badly want to seek his beauty right now. He deserves that from me!

Lord I seek so desperately to live a life that is a love song to You! That as I LIVE, I would be a constant worshipper - in everything. You are so beautiful and You deserve my utmost! Thank you for loving me in the midst of my passivity, and that, with Your help, I can break through passivity into passion. You are so good!!

Holy Ghost encouters at Disneyland.

This is my God!!!!! He's alive and active and so, so phenomenal.

My Friend :)

I have been inspired to write a blog. My dear friend Melissa started a blog over a month ago and has written a new post everyday. I just read a hand full of them, and have been so deeply touched. Mel is such a good friend to me. I know I have written some posts about her, or her baby, Mr. Keaka in the past, but I feel the need to brag on her briefly. :) I met Mel when I was doing my 9 month study of the Bible in Kona, HI. She is a personal trainer who taught a workout class offered to the entire campus twice a week. We began hanging out weekly, doing various things such as yoga, Starbucks, coffee at her house, and lots and lots of talking. Her and her husband's condo was such a get-away for me in the midst of such an intensive school and too much campus life! After being a student in Kona, I went back to staff the same 9 month Bible school. This is when mine and Mel's friendship got deeper. :) Within the first couple weeks of my second big trip to Kona, Mel announced to me that she was PREGNANT! I was so ecstatic. At that point we hung out probably 2-3 times a week. As her pregnancy progressed, we hung out more and more. I loved being around her prego self and exercising with her.

Then in September she had her precious baby boy! We had been hanging out in the afternoon into the evening when she was having consistent contractions, and did not feel like going on a walk - no wonder!! I went home, and a couple hours later got the call that they were heading to the birth center. I got to watch their dogs while they went and had their amazing son. After he was born, I ended up hanging out more and more at her house even than I had before. It was a double wammy - I got to be around my dear friend AND I got to hold a newborn!! I don't know where I'm going with this. I could spend hours writing on how much I love her and how much her friendship has touched me, but maybe I'll just leave it at that for now. :)





I just love this family. Mel has been and still is such an encouragement to me as a single girl, going through daily battles of wishing I wasn't so single and what not. She prayed an amazing and powerful prayer for me over the phone last night that has completely refreshed my soul. Mel, you are incredible!!!

More wedding photos!!

Here's the link to Ean's new blog
http://studio190.wordpress.com/2009/07/03/grae-and-taras-wedding/
ENJOY and BE BLESSED!

Life...

Hooorah! My best friend is now a married woman. I could not be more happy for her and her husband! Their wedding turned out to be soooo gorgeous, and on top of it being awesome, they had the best photographer ...EVER... ::cough:: Ean Perkins ::cough:: The location got changed last minute.. I mean, the day before the wedding.. due to weather. But it turned out more beautiful that we could've imagined, plus we got to take some awesome photos at the original location that we wouldn't have, if it was set up for a wedding. God was so good to us, and provided a beautiful back up plan. :) His ways are good.

Here are a couple photos I just jacked from facebook. I hope Ean doesn't mind! The one of the actual ceremony was taken by an audience member, not Ean. :)




I must admit, however, I am very relieved that the big event is said and done now! I wouldn't take back all the time and energy put into that wedding for ANYTHING, but it is time for me to get into a more consistant routine, which I am! I started my nannying job three weeks ago, AND AM LOVING IT!! Every day I get more and more attached to the little lady. :-) Speaking of, I am at work right now, but princess is sleeping. Yay for newborns loving to rest!!! What a great job.



(I= excited, She = confused)!

All Other Ground is Sinking Sand

Wowzers I have been a busy MOH. (Maid of Honor, lol). My time has been consumed by babysitting and wedding / shower planning. I must admit, though, I LOVE the busyness. I do love being on my toes and having a semi-routine. And Praise the LORD that semi-routine will soon turn into a real routine, I start my NEW NANNYING JOB on the 15th. That is such a blessing, I couldn't be more thankful. It's great pay and for a precious newborn girl. I cannot wait to get started. We had our 'practice run' last night while her parents were out to dinner and we had a great time, she even gave me some half smiles! :-)

Ok so I just had a very intense worship session in my bedroom with Jesus. My eyes are all bawled out, I'll say that much. But when I am surrounded by His presence, it's hard to do much else. I have to share about an intense revelation He gave me on Sunday during worship at church. We were singing the old hymn "On Christ the Solid Rock I Stand" and this song had never blown me away like this before. As we were singing the part " all other ground is sinking sand " I was asking God in that very moment what my "sinking sand" is. Before I could even ask the entire question, He answered me! So quick! "Your emotions." Ok, WHOA, God. I almost broke down right then and there - I DO NOT WANT TO BASE MY LIFE OFF MY EMOTIONS!! I was overwhelmed with the truth of this profound idea. He is showing me to base the way I love, the decision I make, the thoughts I think, the words I speak on the truth of who HE is. To live a life as a woman after His own heart, I can no longer base those things off the way I FEEL. I realize this is especially true being a woman, but I don't care about emotions. To be blunt, I don't want to care about the way I 'feel' when it is not based on truth. Yes, emotions are a good thing and if we were all emotionless (like men, jk) this world would be a very interesting place. But I think as a believer I (we) have control over such things, by the power of the Holy Spirit. He enables us to live through truth in a world that lives off lies or fleeting emotions.

This topic has been something that has gotten to me a lot lately. I am becoming quite passionate about it. This is kind of a silly way to end, but I don't even know where else to go with my thoughts. Plus I am tired. If you have any thoughts please, share them!!

Being wrecked.

Wow I am such a good blogger! :-) It's funny that I get frustrated when others don't update their blogs, yet neither do I.. hmm.. hypocrisy. Anyway I just have been going through so much transformation and wish I could write about it all. It's too much to put into words though. God is just incredible, giving me new and intense revelations every single day that have been blasting me. I have gotten so close to His heart these last few weeks, it astonishes me. I love being in His presence, His sweet, paralyzing, overwhelming, make me bawl my eyes out, then smile a lot, presence.

I have been playing the piano lately - something I haven't done in AGES. I missed it terribly. There's something about the piano that strikes my soul so deeply. It goes beyond my comprehension, and really takes me to a different place. I feel like I get a touch from the Lord every time I play or hear it being played. When I need to envision myself in my "secret place" with Jesus, it is either on a mountain top or in the back of a stain-glass sanctuary hearing distant piano music with strong chords mixed with luscious melodies. I love love love the way Jesus touches my heart. This song is an incredible example of something He has spoken to me through this week. You should listen to the whole thing! GORGEOUS.



Amen, hallelujah, I'm done.

Load up my Starbucks card!

Hey! So I'm going out on a limb here and giving all of 'my readers' the divine opportunity to reload my Starbucks card! I mean, why not, right?? I think this is the right link: https://www.starbucks.com/card/reload.asp
and here is my starbucks # 6051647917843936

Sweeeeet, thanks.

No Greater Love.

Today was the weirdest, and perhaps best Easter I've ever had. I was in Washington all weekend helping a friend out with her sister's wedding. I planned on driving straight home last night after the wedding, so I left her house at 9pm. Realizing I was too tired I stopped in at my sister's house up in Lacey, WA and stayed the night. I ended up sleeping in a bit this morning then hitting the road for home about 10:30 am. Ok so there's the background info.
While I was bummed that I wasn't home Easter morning, I had the best car ride with Jesus. I talked with him the whole way down and got deeper revelation of His Resurrection than ever before. I bawled my eyes out for maybe an hour and a half straight of the drive. Not too safe with the rain already on the roads, but I couldn't helped it. Here's what He showed me.

Jesus came to this earth to do the things that I struggle to do everyday. He loved the unlovable and rejected, he spoke TRUTH when it was not popular, He lived absolutely flawlessly to fulfill God's will and early prophecies. I get mad at drivers on the road. I roll my eyes at homeless beggers, I constantly think of how to make my life more comfortable. I get mad at my family for trivial things rather than love them. I hang out at my house when there's a world to be touched, a town that needs to hear the name of Jesus. I struggle EVERY day with these things, He lived this way. All for what? To save us - to save me from my wretchedness. Because He loves me so much that He couldn't picture eternity without me or anyone else of His creation. Because He wanted me to live my life to the fullest and have constant relationship with Him.

Gosh, I've heard this message spoken my entire life but am finally beginning to see what it means. The phrased "Jesus loves me" is taking on a whole new meaning and it is blowing my mind. I could never express what that car ride meant to me because it spoke to the deepest parts of me. I wish I could express it but it seems impossible.

Which Jesus do you follow? Which Jesus do you serve?
If Ephesians says to imitate Christ, why do I look so much like the world?

My Jesus bled and died for my sins;
He spent His time with thieves and liars.
He loved the poor and accosted the arrogant
So which one do I want to be?

Who is this that I follow? The picture of the American dream?
If Jesus was here would I walk right by on the other side, or would I fall down and worship at His Holy feet?

Jesus, I want to be face down before you my entire life, in everything I do, in every decision I make, in every conversation I have, in every friendship I am blessed with.

Oh Happy Day!

Thank you Jesus for giving me a reason to be alive, a reason to celebrate!!

no title

So, the day I posted that last one ended up being a very productive day. I got SO much done and it felt great. Ever since, I've still been very inspired to get lots done each day making it count. I feel going into detail is unnecessary because no one reads this blog anyways!

Thought I'd throw this in here for fun though:

Behold the inspiration for my "new" room! I'm going to be redecorating and I'm stoked.